Vital toolkit to tackle NPD

It goes without saying that people with a personality disorder are highly likely to suffer from relationship breakdown. It follows that during their careers, family lawyers are bound to experience cases concerning these individuals who have the capacity to abuse and wreak havoc not only on their former partners but also upon the legal professionals involved. These cases keep family law practitioners awake at night.

This is a fascinating and excellent guide for practitioners faced both with clients whose spouse has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and whose clients have NPD. The authors present authentic and in-depth case studies to demonstrate NPD behaviours, what to look out for, how to deal with the problems generated and, importantly, how to protect yourself and your client. This essential toolkit for practitioners helps to assess the issues and enables family law experts to develop strategies to manage everyone’s expectations, to avoid client complaints, and to prevent the lawyer from becoming an unwitting pawn in the games of the narcissist, which, left unchecked, can continue the abuse.

The first chapter defines NPD, exemplifying four particular types with case studies. The second chapter details the negative behaviour traits of individuals with NPD, including a lack of empathy and guilt, exploitation and control of others, lying, being above the law, having a sense of entitlement and ‘gas-lighting’.

There are comprehensive and interesting chapters on representing a client with NPD and a client whose former partner has NPD, with reference to which family law processes stand a better chance of succeeding compared to others. The more suitable processes for resolving divorce, financial matters and issues regarding children (about which there is a separate chapter) are hybrid mediation, where solicitors can sit with their clients in mediation meetings, and arbitration. The authors demonstrate their expertise by detailing one case history from both the perspective of the family solicitor (Kate) with an NPD client (Mike) and the family solicitor (Emma) representing the other spouse (Naomi).

To balance the disconcerting issues involved in dealing with a narcissistic client or their spouse, I found the final chapter on wellbeing to be most welcome and supportive. It confirmed my view that this is an expert, sensitive and holistic approach to NPD for the family lawyer and I recommend it as essential reading.

Elaine Richardson is a family law solicitor and mediator at Richardson Family Law, and a member of the Law Society’s Family Law Committee