Mother in law: Dealing with the general public

In this blog I want to talk to junior lawyers about dealing with 'the general public'. If you want to skip to the conclusion, it is 'it’s not you, it’s them.' Hopefully, by the time you start to practise law you have spent a decent amount of time in public-facing part time jobs, and I am here to tell you that not a minute of that time was wasted. 

My own mother, when I was about 18, took some pyjamas back to BHS because they had gone all misshapen on the first wash, but because she was worried about getting to my sick grandmother quickly that day, left the house with them before they were dry. I nearly died of embarrassment as she argued with the staff about whether or not she could get a refund on a bag of wet clothes. My great uncle took a suit back to a shop after a funeral as he had felt unwell when wearing it. I’m sure (almost sure) this isn’t just a thing with my family. A hotel manager recently told me about a customer who complained that they didn’t have a room with a balcony when they literally had a room with a balcony. The same customer wanted a steak cooked 'rare but with no pink'.

And, of course, the problem with our clients is that they aren’t out to have a good time, or buy themselves something nice, or try to get their money back on some pyjamas. They are usually going through a very traumatic time in their lives. These are some examples, off the top of my head, of unreasonable clients:

1. Mr A, who emails me in a raft of different font sizes and styles, with various words in bold. I wouldn’t even mind if the big/bold words were important words to be emphasised, but they seem pretty random. 
2. Mr B, who is currently refusing to pay my bill because he thinks I’m trying to trick him into paying twice. I would try to explain why he thinks this, but there is nothing more to it. I’ve sent him one bill and he hasn’t paid it and I want him to pay it. Once.
3. Mrs C, who won’t settle a probate dispute because she knows her mum had a TV before they fell out 9 years ago, and this hasn’t been included in the estate accounts.
4. Mr & Mrs D, who are convinced that me and the two opposing solicitors in our dispute are in cahoots, because all solicitors are.
5. Mrs E, who - part way through a matter - asked me for some advice by email on a Wednesday morning, to which I responded, then emailed me again with some more questions late that afternoon. When I responded Thursday morning, she said she had gone somewhere else for advice as I 'hadn’t got back to her'.

These are all trivial things really, which at this stage in my career aren’t going to keep me awake at night. But of course there are bigger examples too: My friend’s client who wrote to every other solicitor in her town to tell them how bad she was at her job. And, when I was a trainee, the client who wouldn’t come to the High Court with me in respect of childcare proceedings because she was 'scared of bombs in London'. 

The problem is that not everyone is the same as you and me. This is easier to forget these days where we can regularly adjust our news feed to only see stuff we are interested in. While I’m getting updates about rock 'n' roll stars selling their back catalogues, quizzes about Gilmore Girls and rumours about the return of Jack Bauer, someone else will be getting conspiracy theories about Covid, articles about what a great job Trump did and headlines about criminals getting massive hand-outs through legal aid. Just like their online footprint has led, over years, to them getting these articles, their lives - over a greater number of years- have led to them having the thoughts and opinions they now express to you.

For the sake of resolving your client’s dispute, if nothing else, you need to try to understand them. But where that is hard (or impossible) put your advice in writing, get money on account and please don’t take it personally.

*Some facts and identities have been altered in the above article