My attention has been drawn to a recent tendency to slackness among innovators in the supply and regulation of legal services. I refer of course to the failure to include every possible cliché in emailed announcements concerning the said innovations.

As a corrective, the Gazette offers the following catechismal tutorial, to be memorised at leisure. It shall serve as three and a half minutes of CPD.

In what athletic condition is the current state of affairs? Not fit for purpose.

And to what service obligation is this new wheeze dedicated? To delivering modernisation.

What, by motorcycle, porter’s trolley? The innovations will be rolled out.

And what will the scorecard show at the conclusion? A win for consumers.

And for the profession? It may be necessary to rebalance the shape and size of our frontline fee-earner resource.

But which section of the population will be hard done by? The most vulnerable in society.

Isn’t that the definition of vulnerable in the first place? Yes, but it sounds caring.

Speaking of caring, with what blessing do we assign our colleagues departing with bin-liners? We wish them well in the future.

Do we really? What do you think?

I ask the questions around here. What is the warning label on certain species-selective foodstuffs marketed to marine wildlife parks? Not fit for porpoise.

That is enough for today. Please remember to hand in your evaluation forms at the door.

With apologies for the title to Myles na Gopaleen (1911-1966) and the Irish Times.

Michael Cross is Gazette news editor

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