Kenneth Clarke is an impatient man, and not just when he’s waiting in the queue for the Commons canteen.

The justice secretary wants cases to be wrapped up much quicker in the future – and we think we may have a solution for him right here in Chancery Lane.

The UK Rock Paper Scissors Championships are coming to London’s legal heartland, with more than 300 people expected to take part in the age-old battle of mind-games and complete luck.

The event has doubled in size for its fifth outing and will be held on 22 October at the Knights Templar pub (also well known as a Wetherspoons refuge for impecunious lawyers waiting for payday).

Let’s face it, month-long submissions can get pretty dull, so we’re looking forward to the first High Court judgments to be resolved immediately through simple hand gestures. On three…