To BT’s plush auditorium in Newgate Street to hear Damian ‘two desks’ Green, one of our justice ministers, lecture on ‘Criminal justice reform – from justice delayed to justice delivered’.

The event was hosted by thinktank Reform, best known for enthusing about private prisons, but what does it have to do with BT? It turns out that the company is the largest supplier of ‘networked IT solutions’ to central government, and IT is very much at the heart of Green’s plan to deliver (sic) justice.

In the Q&A session, John Fassenfelt, chair of the Magistrates’ Association, attempted to burst Green’s techno-bubble by suggesting that the criminal justice system is not, as ministers often describe it, a Rolls-Royce service, but a Ford Escort that is running out of petrol. The minister responded that he didn’t mind which model the system was, so long as it was ‘top of the range’. Then, by his own admission ‘stretching the analogy beyond measure’, he added that the system’s petrol consumption figure was in need of improvement.

Obiter notes that the Ford Escort went out of production in 2003 and that Rolls-Royce Motor Cars is now owned by a German company. Perhaps some new motoring metaphors for the justice system are called for. Suggestions?