You have to be something of a bruiser to take on the job of minister for borders and immigration.

It’s a tough job, with the right accusing you of going soft on ‘bogus’ asylum seekers and the left condemning you as a heartless fascist (more of which later).

The job is a poisoned chalice, suited only for a bruiser – who can also take the occasional bruising.

Consider the report published earlier this month by the House of Commons Home Affairs Committee, which was frankly scathing about the UK Border Agency’s performance.

Progress on clearing up the backlog of 400,000 to 450,000 unresolved asylum cases has only been achieved ‘through increased resort to grants of permission to stay’, the report said.

Not to mention a ‘major redeployment of permanent staff’ and ‘significant extra expenditure on temporary staff,’ the report added.

The criticisms were unrelenting.

The Committee noted that it was ‘unacceptable’ that the UKBA operated ‘on untested assumptions’.

Elsewhere, it talked about ‘the lack of effective action’ to remove people who have lost the right to remain in the UK.

It was also ‘very concerned’ at the ‘inconsistent’ way the UKBA handled tip-offs from the public.

And…

And I could go on (and on), but I suspect you have got the picture by now.

So who on earth would take on this poisoned chalice of a job?

Which ambitious politician is cruising for a bruising?

Well, Damian Green, the Conservative member of parliament for Ashford, is the present incumbent.

He is no stranger to being bruised.

His first bruising, however, was something of a damp squib (to mix metaphors) when he was released without charge after the Metropolitan Police had arrested him in November 2008 on suspicion of compromising national security through the unauthorised disclosure of materials.

He had been leaked information by a ‘mole’ in the Home Office.

Quite unfazed by his brush with the forces of law and order, Green has now been immigration minister in the coalition government since May 2010.

He responded to the report’s criticisms by rolling up his sleeves and, er, blaming the previous administration.

He said: ‘We have known for some time that the asylum system we inherited was chaotic.’

He continued: ‘Some of these cases date back more than a decade and the UKBA was always clear that, because of the length of time many of these individuals have been in the country, there would be no alternative to granting them leave to remain.’

He finished defiantly: ‘There is no amnesty [for asylum seekers].’

That’s tough talking for a man who is – delete as appropriate – EITHER soft on ‘bogus’ asylum seekers OR a heartless fascist.